He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
~2 Corinthians 1.22
He owns me.
I don’t like that thought. The idea of being owned by someone or something makes me feel like I’ve lost my freedom.
Like I’m in chains.
I want to belong to myself. I want to choose where I go, who I see, what I do.
I want freedom.
But freedom is a lie. I always belong to someone. Or something. I’m always going to be a slave. But there’s only one Master whose chains bring fulfillment, joy, and. . . well, freedom (this time it’s not a lie).
The problem is that every time I seek freedom from His chains, I’m instantly enslaved by something else. But no one is as good a master as He is.
So I was captured. This time by a person. Through no fault of her own I was drawn away from my Creator, the one for Whom my heart truly beats, and I allowed myself to believe that my heart was my own, to be given to whomever I desired.
But it’s not. Giving a heart bought by God to anything but His plan will yield disastrous results. And in my foolishness I was left brokenhearted, weary, and destroyed. I sought a comforting voice among my brothers and sisters, but I couldn’t find any. And then a whisper broke through the darkness.
Father, I’m sorry for trying to take ownership of my heart and life. You bought me, and I had no right to try to take my life back. The price You paid was Your own blood and death. Thank You that the chains with which You’ve bound me lead to true freedom. And thank You even for the difficult lesson that what I may perceive as freedom is actually slavery.
Captivate my heart again, Father. I’m weary of chasing after things that aren’t in Your plan for me. I want to pursue Your heart, no one else’s and nothing else.