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September, 2009

  1. Stepping up. . .

    September 29, 2009 by Nate

    I keep a little bit of a prayer journal. There are a lot of gaps in it, mostly because I get too scared to immortalize my prayers on paper.

    Anyway, I was going through some old entries when I stumbled on these three. I was struck by how much can change in just a few days. I’ve actually never shared this story with anyone because I was afraid to let people see this much. But it’s just too awesome to keep hidden forever.

    ~Sunday~
    Today was amazing, Father. Thank you again for the opportunity to help out in such an amazing ministry. Thank you for these people and the time I get to share with them. You’ve blessed me with some amazing friends.

    God, I’m excited about the ministry that you’ve blessed me with at Liquid Kids. I’m humbled by the amount of leadership Bill trusts me with. I don’t get that at all, but it’s in your hands, not mine.

    Oh, and thanks for the little break he let me have. As much as I love Liquid Kids, it was definitely nice to have a Sunday off.

    God, I don’t know what you have in store for me, but I get the impression that Liquid is going to play a big part in your plan for my future.

    Father, please put me in the right place at the right time.

    ~Monday~
    I need your strength, Father. Today was such a difficult and frustrating day. I felt stifled, and I’m angry about the situation I’m in. I’m sorry for being discontent, but it’s so hard right now.

    God, you know how unhappy I am at this job. I need your help right now. I know you delight in giving good gifts to your children, so I’m asking you for one.

    I want to be able to use the skills you gave me, and I know it’s impatient, but I want to put them to use as soon as possible.

    God, I hate the way this sounds, but I’m so frustrated! I’m dying for a change.

    I trust you’re sending something, though. Please help me be patient.

    ~Tuesday~
    Sorry about last night, Father. I was overwhelmed with yesterday’s frustration that I didn’t take any time to thank you for all the blessings you’ve given me. With all the sin that continues to destroy my life, you’ve still chosen to use me mightily in your ministry.

    You already know my hurts and frustrations, and I don’t want to go into all that again this morning because in the middle of all these struggles, I still have so much to be thankful for. Last weekend was all about you, God. Please help me make that true about my whole life.

    I love you, Father.

    Every Tuesday morning I get together with my mentor and pastor for some coffee and chatting. That Tuesday, instead of our ordinary talks, he offered me a job with Liquid Kids. Little did I know what road that would take me on.

    But I’m thankful for that moment because it taught me so much about God. It taught me that God listens. It taught me that God loves. That moment became the catalyst for a whole lot of internal change in my life.

    I still get together with my mentor every Tuesday. And even though I’m not working for him at Liquid anymore he still leads, prods, and teaches me.

    His most recent challenge to me was the legacy he’s leaving with me. He has taught me so much, and I refuse to let it go to waste. It’s time for me to step up.

    That Tuesday was no coincidence. It was a catalyst to bring me to new heights of worship and ministry.

    And I intend to find my next one.

    Category Personal | Tags: | 1 Comment

  2. Forgotten. . .

    September 13, 2009 by Nate

    I’ve been reading a book by Craig Gross and Jason Harper called Jesus Loves You. . . This I Know, and in the chapter titled “Jesus Loves the Forgotten,” Craig recounts the story of a boy who died alone for no other reason than this: everyone forgot about him.

    Some kids in a youth group were encouraged to include even the outcast when inviting other kids to a big lakeside party. A socially awkward boy was invited, and gradually made friends. He pensively swam, with some help, (he was a very inexperience swimmer) to a floating island where the other kids were playing.

    Eventually the kids went back to the shore to enjoy cake inside the lakehouse.

    But the boy was still on the island.

    Everyone went home, but no one remembered the boy alone on the island.

    After he was reported missing, a diving search team found his body at the bottom of the lake. It was presumed that he had tried at some point to swim back to shore, but an asthma attack prevented him from reaching.

    I’m going to be very honest. There are many times I feel like that boy. I often feel alone and forgotten.

    Israel Houghton sang these words: “I am not forgotten.”

    We may feel like no one remembers us, but if we consider Jesus’ love for us, we’ll remember that he can’t forget us.

    Jesus loves us. I know this because he’s made that promise.

    And Jesus never breaks a promise.

    This I know.

    Category Personal, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

  3. Fear in love. . .

    September 1, 2009 by Nate

    I was reading through Revelation 1 yesterday when I stumbled on a passage that had a very intriguing setup.

    John describes a powerful, majestic, and terrifying incarnation of Christ. But immediately following this description, Christ says, “Do not be afraid.”

    It’s almost as if he’s saying, “Look at what I did for you. I am the Eternal One, and yet I stooped down to experience death for you. But I didn’t stop there. I destroyed death so that you wouldn’t have to taste it. I control Hell so you won’t have to go there. So yeah, there’s no reason to be afraid.”

    But if we’re honest, we’ll admit that fear is what drives our lives.

    If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you’ve seen that I’m obsessed with the concept of love. It’s fascinating to me because it’s probably one of the greatest mysteries of our humanity, yet it’s the most common aspect of our lives. It’s also (supposed to be) the defining point of Christians. (I’ll refrain from my rant about Christians’ failure to exhibit this feature.)

    So here’s an interesting thought about love and fear. . .

    Love, in its purest form, is completely fearless.

    Odd, isn’t it? I mean, fear and love seem to go hand-in-hand. We’re afraid to love because we might get burned.

    Or the love won’t be reciprocated.

    Or we might be taken advantage of.

    All legitimate fears. But none have any place near love.

    Check this out.

    God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
    ~1 John 4.18

    Um. Ouch.

    I strive to love perfectly, flawlessly, purely. Yet I’m held back by fear. And I think it’s this fear that is crippling me and keeping me from becoming the man that God is calling me to be.

    Fear destroys love. The most common command in the Bible is “Do not be afraid” or some variation of it. I think it’s time I start obeying this command.

    Category Personal, Scripture Musings, Spirituality | Tags: | 2 Comments

  4. Today. . .

    September 1, 2009 by Nate

    So today was an interesting day. It was unseasonably cool with a slight chill in the air. It was dry today (which is extremely uncharacteristic considering the massive amounts of humidity we’ve been getting these last few months).

    I went to work for the last time at the job I loved more than any other job I’ve had. Definitely a bittersweet time. Yesterday was tougher though. Today wasn’t really as difficult because there weren’t a whole lot of goodbyes involved. Just a lot of “I’ll miss seeing you more than once a week” types of things.

    Yesterday was loaded with some extremely difficult goodbyes. Too many. But I’ll probably talk about that in another entry. For now, I’m just talking about today.

    I got home from work and had some amazing breaded chicken dish that my mom made. Simply astounding. I’d forgotten just how awesome she can be at this stuff.

    After dinner digested, I went for a run in Parsippany with some good friends. Somewhere near three miles I think. Our normal course was interrupted by the darkness that overshadowed it, so we ended up using a shortcut through some better lit areas. That probably shaved several hundred feet from our projected three-mile run. I hadn’t gone since last Saturday, so it was good to get back out there. My left shin wasn’t doing so hot at the end of it, and I noticed some serious pain there during the post-run stretch.

    Earlier today I had bought a case of Sam Adams’ Octoberfest for a BBQ I’m having after the 5K on Sunday. It’s probably my favorite Märzen (if not my favorite pilsner or even lager), and I couldn’t resist pouring myself a glass tonight. It was such a welcoming flavor. I’m so glad it’s back on the tap. It’s possibly the perfect taste to complement the coming autumn months.

    The Octoberfest pours into a rather dark reddish amber with a creamy off-white one- to two-finger head. It has a fairly insignificant fragrance; a bit of bread mixed with a sweet nuttiness and a smooth caramel. The smell is typical of most lagers. The carbonation hits pretty quickly, carrying a biscuity flavor with it. Initially I tasted a hint of freshly baked bread, but it finished with a rather syrupy sweetness and hints of apples and grapes. It’s a full-bodied Märzen that’s a bit heavy, but quite enjoyable.

    I started reading through Revelation again today. Wow. More on that in another entry.

    So that was my day. All in all, an excellent Monday. I can’t wait to see what Tuesday has in store for me.

    Category Personal | Tags: | 1 Comment