I can’t help but be thankful for the life I’ve been given. These past couple months have been such a phenomenal blessing, I don’t even know what to highlight. It’s astounding, even to me, to continue seeing God’s hand at work in my life.
My heart has longed to pour into people in the venue of the Church, and God, for whatever reason, has decided to fulfill that wish and give me the opportunity to do exactly what I’ve longed to do for years. But I never would have believed that my journey would unfold the way it has.
More than three years ago God guided my steps to a place where I could come to him on my own terms, and not feel forced into it by other people. And it was there, at Liquid Church, that God called me into his ministry.
He placed that desire in my heart, but as I grew closer to him, I discovered that I wasn’t ready for that mission.
Never was that more clear to me than the time I spent working for Liquid. If there was ever a time I felt like a failure, it was that season. Time and time again, I looked at the ministry I was entrusted with and thought, What am I doing wrong?
Don’t get me wrong; I loved each day I spent working for the church. But the hardships I faced then were hardships I wasn’t ready for. I knew I could do better, but I didn’t know how to improve.
Fast-forward to now. I’m about to step into that role yet again, only this time with a new church called Emergence. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t more than just a little nervous at the prospect.
But last weekend, something put me at ease. My friends Kimberly and Michael and their kids were visiting New Jersey, and the short time I spent with them reminded me that I do what I do because of Christ’s love for me.
And I found myself falling in love yet again with the over-the-top joy from their oldest daughter’s laughter, the quiet compassion in their son’s smile, and the simple beauty in their youngest daughter’s not-quite-fully-formed sentences.
Why? Because Christ was revealing himself to me yet again. He was loving me through these kids and telling me, “You can’t do this on your own. But I’m going to empower you for the task I’ve given you. And there will be more Rachel’s, more Ethan’s, and more Sophia’s that you come across, and through them I will show you my love.”
To Rachel, Ethan, and Sophia—
You guys aren’t yet old enough to fully grasp the fact that God has used you immensely in shaping what I do, but the next year of my ministry is dedicated to what his Spirit has taught me through you. Thank you for letting me teach Jesus to you and for being Jesus to me.