I’m not exactly proud of the attitude I developed in the years following my graduation from Bob Jones University. But I understand that my “rebellion” has helped me to understand grace much better.
I acted out in a lot of the same ways that most people would act out in high school. Lots of drinking, smoking any substance that could be smoked (legally or otherwise), feeding my addiction to pornography, etc.
But all of that came about because of a question I was asking myself: does God really even care?
My biggest fear was that someone would find out about my brokenness. That someone would see what I was doing and call me out on it. So I hid it behind a polished exterior.
The problem with this is that there’s no healing possible when you hide. Thankfully, God had placed someone in my life who introduced me to an environment where healing was possible. A place where I didn’t have to hide who I was because I knew I wouldn’t be judged for how I was living.
I would be accepted, loved, and cared for. And with love comes the natural impetus to seek change.
Slowly stuff started to change. Life started to look different for me.
And my big question was answered. God really does care.