It’s been more than half a year since last I posted. Much has happened since then. Emergence has launched both in our perpetual location and as an organization separate from Jacksonvile Chapel. The ministry God has entrusted to me has grown and much is changing at a whirlwind pace.
Also, I’ve experienced some loss recently.
It hasn’t been an easy road, to be certain, but it’s been necessary. As I’ve worked through this trial I’m sensing God’s grace in an immense way. God is ruining me. He’s breaking me of my pride, arrogance, and idolatry.
And as painful as it is, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When we lose something or someone, a hole forms in our heart. That hole can’t be filled with whatever was there to begin with. It can’t even be filled with a newer, better version of what was there. It must be filled with our Savior.
And that’s what God is teaching me. As he begins to piece together my broken heart, he’s also breaking the stubbornness that I cling to. He’s breaking down the idols that have crept in without my noticing.
And soon, sooner than I may expect and not as soon as I would like (but no sooner than God intends), I will be at full strength again. And I will recall this time in my life as God’s way of launching me to greater heights with him than I would have imagined before.
But for now I’ll grieve. I’ll rest in the arms of my Father and let my Savior heal these wounds.