restored to grace

In anticipation of the upcoming Prison Break series at church starting this weekend, I’ve decided to go through Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi.

I’ve often marveled at the joy Paul expresses through one of the most difficult times of his life. He’s in prison, chained up, and waiting to be executed, yet still he writes, “Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! . . . . Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice!”

How is it that Paul can write such powerfully uplifting words in those circumstances? What was driving him to live life this way?

Lately I’ve been feeling God calling me toward ministry. A number of times over the past several months I’d begun pursuing that call in different forms: taking steps toward a full-time ministry position at my home church, putting together my application to seminary, applying at various full-time ministry positions around the country.

But every time I find an open door, it closes before I reach it.

And I find myself asking God, “Is it even worth it?”

No, it’s not. Not if my pursuit is after the things of God rather than God himself.

I’ll admit it’s not easy when he puts a desire in your heart but tells you to wait before you can obtain that dream. It’s even more difficult when you know your dream is something that he would be proud of.

But the reality is no matter how noble or God-pleasing my dream may be, attaining it will never bring me joy.

And while my disappointments and difficulties pale in comparison to Paul’s sufferings, I get discouraged, I complain, and I grow frustrated with my circumstances.

And I have to ask myself, “Why can’t I celebrate like Paul did if my life is circumstantially much better than his?”

Paul discovered why it’s all worth it. He discovered how to rejoice in every circumstance. He discovered where true joy can transcend his situations. Because his celebration was based on something other than his circumstances.

The answer sounds cliché (especially if you grew up in Sunday School hearing this kind of cheese being sung), but it truly makes all the difference.

Jesus.

Because he is the sustenance for the entire universe. Because his life is the center of all of history. Because his death is love defined. Because his resurrection is the beginning of new life for humanity.

Because this kind of love is what we were designed for.

There is no reason to live. There is nothing to live for.

Because it’s not worth it to live for anything.

Except Jesus.

I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

~Philippians 3.8-14

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This chart was too good to leave alone. I want to thank Prodigal John and Stuff Christians Like for the awesome concept.

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(Continued from my previous post. Read that first.)

. . . Paul wrote that regardless of motive, as long as Christ is being preached, he rejoices. So why is it that anytime we see people proclaiming Christ through a method we don’t fully understand or use ourselves, we get our panties all bunched up and cry, “Heresy!” or shout, “Stuffy!” or, “Cold and unfeeling!” Is it really our place to do that?

If Christ is truly at the center of our lives, we would recognize that his word is in fact being proclaimed and preached through methods we may consider “unusual” or “out of the ordinary.” But he’s not at the center, and so we argue and bicker about what the other church is doing.

And therein lies the problem. Our lives and churches are no longer Christ-centric. He’s been replaced by whatever gift he’s given us. X Church is a teaching- and doctrine-centered church. Y Church is a service- and outreach-centered church. Z Church is a connection- and community-centered church.

And guess what? All three churches are practicing idolatry. I don’t think I’m stretching things either.

The [C]hurch is the Bride of Christ. As such, her sole responsibility is to love him and do what he says. Like a bride’s devotion to her groom, the [C]hurch is supposed to be obsessed with Christ’s whole being. How long can a woman repeatedly say to her husband, “I love that you’re a musician,” without saying, “I love you”? How long can that continue before he gets pissed that she’s not in love with him, but rather in love with his job or abilities?

If a church constantly says that their gifts are more important than the gifts of another church, they’ve abandoned Christ and replaced him with an idol. They’re worshiping teaching/service/community and not Christ.

And don’t get me wrong. I’m not against “specialized congregations.” If a church is made up of people who are good in just one of those three functions, awesome! Expand on that and sharpen your skillset, but know that it was given to you by God; it isn’t God, so it’s not worth arguing with the church down the street over. Because the moment you’ve done that is the moment you’ve turned the gift into the god.

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(Continued from my previous post. Read that first.)

. . . But why is it that so many churches focus on one of those gifts, at the expense of the other two? I understand there are churches that are made up completely of one kind of people. But the sad trend that’s built up among many of these congregations is that they argue with other churches that their gift is the “right” gift.

Let me use an example. X Church on South St. is made up of people who are great students of the Scriptures. They know the Word of God inside and out, and they are well versed in proclaiming the truths embedded in the Bible. “Christ was the greatest Teacher that ever lived, and we are his students, charged with becoming teachers ourselves. So we must give ourselves over to the study of the Word,” is the motto of X Church.

But along comes Y Church on Bank St. Y Church is made up of people who have been given the gift of a humble servant attitude. They pour God’s grace into the community around them, serving food to the homeless of the town, rebuilding dilapidated or devastated homes of the needy, and handing out free newspapers to the commuters at the train station. Y Church’s motto is this: “Christ served the least of these. He stooped down and became a Servant to the people of earth. As Christ’s servants, we too must share that spirit of servanthood.”

And then Z Church opens up on Morris St. full of people who know what it means to love and connect with others. Everyone at Z Church devotes their time to listening to each other, learning about each other’s hurts and desires, and filling each other with love and grace. “Christ knew how to connect with people lovingly and without judgment. As the children of God and brothers and sisters with Christ, we must learn to love sacrificially.”

But X Church thinks Y Church is lenient with their doctrine. And Y Church thinks Z Church is too busy having conversations instead of working. And Z Church thinks X Church is cold and unfeeling. And X Church thinks Z Church relies too heavily on emotions rather than rational thought. And Z Church thinks Y Church has no concept of the true heart and longing of the people they claim to be serving. And Y Church thinks X Church believes themselves to be smarter than anyone else, which is why they won’t serve the community.

So a church war breaks out. X Church takes out an ad in the local paper calling Y Church heretical. And Z Church puts a PSA on the local radio station calling X Church stuffy and boring.

And all three churches have forgotten why they’re doing what they’re doing. They’ve forgotten whom they belong to. They’ve forgotten that Christ longs to reveal himself through them. . .

(Post continued here. . .)

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But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.
~Philippians 1.18-19

Not too many years ago I spent a lot of time arguing about all the little details of inconsequential doctrines that, in retrospect, did more to hinder the movement of the Gospel than I thought. But there I was, more concerned with getting my point across than with investing in someone’s life.

And when I run into people who act the way I used to act, I get disgusted. I want to yell, “Don’t you know that your argumentative debates and judgmental rants are doing more harm than good?”

But I have to remind myself that God is still using those people. I may be turned off by their methods, but they’re still instruments in God’s hands.

I was talking to an old friend last night about some of the aspects of people within God’s Kingdom. Each person has his/her own spiritual gifts that reveal something about God in that person.

Take Bill, Mike, and Tom, for instance. Bill, the Student Ministries Pastor at Liquid Church, has quite obviously been blessed with the gift of compassionate love. God has chosen to reveal His attributes of community, love, and openness through Bill. On Tuesday mornings, Bill sets aside time simply to invest in our friendship. He has no agenda and no ulterior motive. We shoot into Morristown for an early cup of coffee and just learn about each other.

Mike, the Campus Pastor at Liquid Church New Brunswick, has been given the gift of service and humility. God’s mysterious nature as the ultimate Servant is very visible in Mike. He asserts no authority over anyone, but gently cares for people where their needs are. On any given Sunday morning, Mike has already poured my coffee, and is probably waiting for me to turn my back so he can set up my room when I’m not looking.

Tom, the Campus Pastor at Liquid Church Morristown, is an entirely different story. His obvious gift is knowledge and wisdom. He can spend hours poring over the Scriptures, and months later recall the deep mysteries embedded within them. And he has the creds to prove it. With degrees from Johns Hopkins, Columbia, Dallas Theological, and who-knows-where-else, Tom has clearly been chosen to reveal God’s occupation as the Master Teacher.

And when these three men work together, the Kingdom really begins to move forward. . .

(Post continued here. . .)

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I sometimes think about what God may have for my future. And these past few days have really heightened the frequency of these thoughts. The question that often races through my mind is “What if. . .?” An email I received yesterday pushed “What if?” into a new direction.

What if God moves me away from Liquid?

What if His mission for me takes me away from the body of believers I’ve grown to love and cherish more than any group I’ve been associated with?

Honestly, the thought scares me. I ordinarily shove that thought into the back of my mind and continue doing what I’m doing. But lately the thought has been sitting in my head, unwilling to move or pass on.

Liquid is my home. My spiritual safehouse. The church welcomed me while I was in my most broken state. They were the instrument God used to heal my emotional and spiritual wounds and to get me started on a journey of faith I never dreamed possible.

I seriously do not want to leave. But maybe I have to. Maybe I’ve grown too comfortable here. Maybe my gifts are better used elsewhere. Maybe God is preparing a place for me to serve in a greater capacity.

Then again, maybe God is making me realize that it’s not about Liquid or the people there. It’s about Him. Maybe Liquid Church is my final destination, and this part of my journey is designed to show me that His Kingdom is moving quickly and powerfully in other venues as well.

But wherever He puts me, His love and presence are already there.

This month at Liquid Kids I get to teach the children about Hope. Hope is more than just a dream, a wish, or a desire. It’s a belief that at the heart of the darkest circumstance, God is working for our good. Or, for the sake of the kids’ collective minds, “Hope is believing that something good can come out of something bad.”

Separating from the people you love most is a heart-wrenching experience. But “goodbye” to one thing is always “hello” to something else.

So now I’m mentally and emotionally preparing myself to say goodbye. My desire is that I don’t have to, but if I do, I can have hope that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (emphasis added).

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I’m currently reading through the book of the Acts of the Apostles for my quiet time. It’s been such an enlightening experience looking through the eyes of the early followers of the Way and peeking into their experiences as the Church first entered the world. It must have been an exciting time.

But as the church scattered abroad, I can’t help but wonder if the Apostles ever thought, “I wish things were the way they used to be.” I mean, the church was pretty successful for a while remaining in Jerusalem. But Christ had told them to go around the world. And around the world they went.

Churches sprang up everywhere. Starting in Jerusalem, then Antioch, then Corinth, Rome, Philippi, Ephesus. . . the new movement spread like wildfire. How many times do you see phrases like, “and about three thousand were added to their number that day,” or “and a great number of people were brought to the Lord”? Over and over again we see the church surging in the number of people reached.

“Remember when we were all in Jerusalem? Man, those were the good ol’ days! When we were healing people in the big city, sharing all we had, giving speeches in all sorts of languages. I never even studied Italian, and there I was, speaking it!”

As I read through passages where major changes were taking place in the early Church, I began to feel nostalgic. I began to miss the days just a few short chapters ago when all the believers assembled in Solomon’s Colonnade.

Just a few months ago, Liquid Church was a group of believers meeting in one place. Early on a Sunday morning, I could walk up the Hyatt stairs and brush past Mike. We’d walk together up to the top of the stairs and chat with Lauren and Tom. The stage would be shared by both David’s moving vocals and Jens’ intense shreds. Bobby and I would lead the same group of kids in learning and worship.

But so much has changed since then. David and Jens no longer share the stage. Mike and Tom no longer greet people on the same set of stairs. Bobby and I no longer share the lesson for children.

Watching Mike introduce the service in Morristown brought me back to those days. The days when “all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade.”

And I found myself thinking, Remember when we were all in Morristown? Remember when we gave away gasoline and car washes? Remember when we raised money to build wells in Africa? Man, those were the good ol’ days!

But I’m wrong. No, these are the “good ol’ days.” The moments we’re in right now are the ones to treasure and make the most of. It’s nice to remember, but without those difficult changes, Liquid would have half the impact that it has now. And the Kingdom of God is moving through New Jersey twice as fast as it would if we were all still meeting in Morristown.

After the church spread out beyond the borders of Jerusalem, these words were written: “The word of the Lord spread through the whole region.”

See how far we’ve come?

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I was enjoying a tall Hyatt-prepared yogurt parfait (the Mike Leahy special) the afternoon following my return to Liquid Kids in Morristown. Overall, it was a fantastic day, and while I missed my friends and family at Liquid New Brunswick, it was such a blessing reconnecting with old friends in Morristown.

During my parfait-eating session, my friend Yuzo (Francisco to many) said to me (in his endearing broken English), “You are one most influential people at Liquid.”

Whoa. Talk about a world-rattling statement. Sure, it was a compliment, but the weight of that statement hit me like an ACME anvil.

Influence is defined as “the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.”

That’s a lot of responsibility, if you ask me. Responsibility I never asked for, and if I had my way, I’d try my best to get rid of. I was perfectly happy just hanging out in the back of the service, enjoying the music and learning from the sermons.

But here’s where everything changed. I asked God to help me grow. And as it turns out, growth comes through stretching and expanding, and those are rarely comfortable experiences.

As I thought about what Yuzo said, I started to realize the truth in his statement. I recalled my first year attending Liquid Church, sneaking into a service and sticking close to my best friend, and then dwelled on my last month here, spending an average of 16 hours on a Sunday serving the people of this church. How did I get here?

The realization that my sphere of influence has grown dramatically over the last year and 8 months is a sobering reality to live in. Suddenly I’m entrusted with the care of people’s hearts. Suddenly I have to be careful about how I interact with people. Suddenly I have to think about every action and every word.

And if I were completely honest with myself, I’d have to say that I haven’t been very careful.

So now I stand here asking myself, Am I ready for this kind of responsibility?

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My friend and I were having coffee yesterday with a girl from Rutgers when I started thinking about how important church is.

But it’s heartbreaking when I look around at so many churches and see arguing, bickering, gossip, and bitterness pervading the congregation, and all too often, the staff.

Jewel (the girl from Rutgers) had some very insightful views on the Church that weren’t too positive. And frankly, I’d have to say that I agreed with her. Churches are hurtful groups of people that are more concerned with being right than they are with living right.

Jewel is an agnostic. And her view of churches represents the prevailing view. Arrogant, bitter, judgmental, nonsensical. And the Church has done nothing to change that view.

Christians are known for condemning people who are different, and then telling them that we love them.

Love them? Yeah, right.

We just want to beat them over the head with our opinions.

So, if I have such a low opinion of church, why is it so important to me?

Well, for starters, it has hurt me in some very profound ways. It has instilled in me an unhealthy fear of God and a desire to please God through rule-following. I figured that since the way to please the elders in the church was through following rules, that’s how I would make God happy.

I know the church can change. It has to change.

Jesus said that he came to earth so that we “may have life, and have it to the full.” (Jn 10.10)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but trying to please God by following a bunch of rules isn’t exactly a full life. And living under the constant judgment of Christians is a painful way to live. It’s this pain that drives so many people out of the Church.

People like me.

But the Church was given great power to do good in the world. While many Christians have forgotten its purpose, there are a handful in the world who realize that the Church should be more than a Christian Country Club.

When Jesus established his church, he did so with these words: “On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

This new church was described like this:

All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.

They were world-changers characterized by love. . . because Jesus said to them, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

That’s what church is supposed to look like. That’s the church’s power and calling. It’s not about proving to the world that we have all the answers, because we really don’t. And it’s not about telling everyone that they’re sinful and broken, because everyone already knows that humanity is flawed.

It’s about love. And I believe I’m supposed to be a part of that. I believe I’m supposed to change the world through love.

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This makes me sad and upset. I feel like this is doing more harm than good. I found it in an actual Q&A section of a website:

Q – What does the Bible say about things like mystics, mediums, psychics, conjurers, witches, tarot readers, palmists, astrologers, clairvoyants, etc.?

A – REPENT OF IT NOW!
. . . .

Q – What happens if I don’t turn from my sin, repent and accept Jesus?

A – YOU WILL BURN ETERNALLY IN HELL.

Q – I want to change, but how can I?

A – You must first realize that YOU are lost. (You are lost if you have not trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior (John 3:18). You must then repent toward God. To repent means “to turn”. Turn with your heart to God. Turn from unbelief in Jesus to belief (placing your trust) in Jesus. You must believe that Jesus died for YOUR sins, and died as YOUR substitute. Your faith (trust) must be in Jesus Christ. You must ask God in prayer, in your own words, from your heart to forgive you and to save you. This must be a genuine and sincere prayer, not just the act of repeating some words provided for you. “And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,” (Acts 16:30,31).

TURNTo God (With your heart; with faith and sorrow for your sins and unbelief).

TRUSTIn Jesus Christ (With your heart; Trusting Him with your eternal soul; Wanting and willing to receive Him as your own personal Savior.)

TALKTo God (From your heart in prayer; in your own words; express your sorrow for sins, and desire for forgiveness, and for Him to save your soul.)

Maybe I’m just skeptical, but I doubt a lot of people (if any at all) responded positively to this. It’s a little embarrassing actually.

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