RSS Feed

‘Personal’ Category

  1. To boldly go. . .

    May 28, 2009 by Nate

    Exploration. Discovery. Mystery.

    Do you ever feel like life is an adventure? I often do. I constantly feel a sense of excitement as I round the next corner of my day, or draw the next line on the map of my week.

    It’s exhilarating to some degree. There’s always the question, “What’s going to happen next?” Am I going to find something new around the bend, or will I reach another point in the rhythm I’m in for now?

    That adventure is what drives me to discover myself to a degree. I know I am the creation of an infinite God, so the depth of my being is potentially limitless. The paths on which I may travel have almost no boundaries.

    The “glorious unknown” spreads out before me, waiting to be unearthed, discovered, and explored.

    And therein lies the beauty of what God is doing. I am the product of boundless love—unadulterated, passionate, and powerful—love that has an infinite number of facets yet to be sought out.

    I long to explore that love, to discover, if I can, the “universe” of God’s incomparable love.

    Most of this vast expanse has yet to be understood. Much like the starship Enterprise on her missions of exploration, we can search until we’re decommissioned. But in the end, we’ll leave almost the entirety of this “universe” unexplored.

    Yet from our perspective, we will have learned so much.

    Category Personal, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

  2. Never alone. . .

    May 9, 2009 by Nate

    I was spending some time writing a story for a friend of mine, when I discovered how lonely I’ve been feeling lately. It’s odd how simply writing her story could trigger the feeling, but what struck me was that, as I was writing, I kept hearing the words, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

    In the middle of the sense that I’m not enough by myself, God sent along a reminder that his grace is all that I need.

    Has the loneliness disappeared? Not really. Especially as I consider how much I miss this friend. But I think I’m discovering that, although I may be lonely, I’m never alone.

    Category Personal | Tags: | No Comments

  3. A nice vibe. . .

    May 4, 2009 by Nate

    Wow. . . it’s been a long time since I last posted. Sorry for the unexpected hiatus.

    Today was an interesting day. I got to work/church around 6:15am and got started on getting the roadcases out of our loading trucks. (For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, I work for a portable church. We meet every week at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in New Brunswick, NJ and the Hyatt Hotel in Morristown, NJ.)

    As I was getting our roadcases up to the second floor, I walked past a Hyatt employee who stopped me only to say a quick few sentences: “Hey man, I love that Liquid Church! Every Sunday there’s such a nice vibe in here!”

    I couldn’t have been more proud of my church than I was in that moment.

    Sure, it’s awesome to hear people talk about how powerful Tim’s message was or how touching Jens’ worship leading was.

    But this Hyatt employee may have never even been to a Liquid service. He may have never experienced a Tim Lucas sermon or a Jens Madsen song. He may have never even had the opportunity to share a word with Mike Leahy after a passionate service.

    Yet his life has been directly impacted by Liquid.

    Which then begs the question. . .

    Are we living life so that others may see Christ in us? Or are we relying on music and messages to tell them about him?

    Category Christianity, Church, Personal | Tags: | No Comments

  4. I saw God. . .

    April 20, 2009 by Nate

    I took a little vacation from Liquid Kids yesterday. It was a huge blessing for many reasons. First, I got out of bed a full four hours later than I usually do on a Sunday morning. Second, I didn’t have to drive 35 minutes to get to church. And third, I didn’t have to work.

    A completely stress-free Sunday (to an extent).

    As I walked into our Morristown campus, a little nostalgia hit me as I navigated the crowded Liquid Kids area and made my way up the stairs to the main service.

    I joined the service as a congregant, and for the first time in several months, I had no cares as I bowed before my Creator in worship.

    That encounter with God, as powerful and intense as it was, paled in comparison to what I experienced after the service ended.


    * * *

    Before Liquid launched our New Brunswick campus, I was teaching elementary school lessons for Liquid Kids in Morristown. It wasn’t easy leaving the kids in Morristown when we launched our second campus, and saying goodbye to many of the kids with whom I’d developed relationships was one of the more difficult things I’ve had to do.

    As Liquid New Brunswick got off the ground, I slowly began to forget the closeness I had with some of the people I said goodbye to in Morristown.

    It’s not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just the nature of change.


    * * *

    As I passed the church welcome center on my way out, I ran into a girl named Tania.

    I was struck by the amount of excitement on her face when she saw me walking by. It was like she couldn’t wait to wrap her tiny, grade-school arms around me.

    I’ve blogged about this before, but it was especially evident in that moment.

    Tania asked me where I’ve been, why I left, and when I was going to come back to teach her. I explained everything to her as simply as I could so that she could wrap her young mind around it.

    When her mom came to take her home, Tania shouted a final “See you next week!” I wanted to melt. How could I say, “I won’t be here” to her?

    I think God was showing me something about himself in that small interaction.

    In many ways, God is like a child. We may abandon him, walk away for weeks, months, or even years. We may forget about him, and go about our own business. But when we draw close to him, he can’t wait to run to us and wrap his arms around us.

    And like a child, he truly believes he’ll see us again soon.

    I saw God in Tania on Sunday. It was quite an encounter.

    Pay attention to the children in your life. You just might learn something about your Creator if you do.

    Category Church, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

  5. Malls, Mexican food, and men. . .

    March 22, 2009 by Nate

    This post was originally written in September 2008.

    Who would have thought an afternoon doing some shopping at the Garden State Plaza and topping it off with a great meal at On the Border would yield a conversation about discovering who God wants us to be?

    During the course of our dinner chat, my buddy Matt brought up an interesting thought about mankind’s primary relationships. He is first to connect with his Creator, for this is the chief of humanity’s priorities. He is then to connect with the woman, for this is the creation God designed intently and specifically for the man. All other relationships must take backseat.

    As he talked about man’s responsibilities and purpose in relationship, my other friend Courtney brought up a frustration that most women have with men: they don’t step up. They’re weak and unwilling to follow their dreams of changing the world for Christ. They’re unwilling to become the men after God’s heart that they were designed to be. They’ve lost the will to be men.

    As a group of single twenty-somethings, the natural inclination for us was to discuss how this affects our past and potential relationships. So let me follow that train of thought for a bit.

    God designed us as sexual creatures. He placed His image on our lives in many ways, and our connection to each other on the sexually is just one of the myriad ways He’s done that.

    Think about the idea of God loving the world. He longs to connect with the world, to share His joy with all of Creation. But Creation has not known or seen His love or is unwilling to experience His joy. So He places His Son into the hands of Creation and hopes that Creation accepts His proposal of love.

    Parallel that with the man in his love for the woman. He longs to connect with the woman, to share his joy with her. But the woman doesn’t know his love or is perhaps unwilling to experience his joy. So he places his heart into the woman’s hands and hopes that she accepts his proposal of love.

    Ironically enough, the woman wants more. And she deserves more. Like Courtney said, men have lost their willpower. We know what it means to be a good Christ-follower—trust Jesus and love others. But we’ve forgotten what it means to be a good man.

    I know her frustration all too well.

    I’ve dreamed big. I’ve longed to serve God with all that I am. I’ve desired to follow in the footsteps of men like King David, King Josiah, the Apostle Peter, and the Apostle Paul. Everything inside me cries out to God to allow me the opportunity to do great things for His Kingdom.

    But I’m afraid.

    I’m afraid, not because of outside forces or society’s push. I am determined to stand strong against that. I’m afraid, not because my friends may think I’m crazy to attempt such incredible things for a God I can’t even physically see. My friends would support me 100% in such an endeavor.

    No, I’m afraid because of myself. I’m afraid because I know my flaws and my failures. I know my sins and my selfishness. I’ve seen myself falter time and time again.

    That is why I’m afraid.

    I dream to take on the world. I dream of doing great and innovative things for the Kingdom like Scott Harrison, Craig Gross, Shane Claiborne, and even my friend Tim Lucas have done.

    But I’m afraid because I’ve seen where I’ve been and what I’ve done. I’ve been trudging through the mire of lust, barely able to come up for air. I’ve sloshed through the swamps of pride and selfishness, weakened by the downward pull of upward desires.

    But worst of all, I’ve suffered through the guilt of my sin, and I’ve been robbed of my dreams. I’m afraid of the evil that I’m capable of.

    So to all the “Courtneys” out there—women longing for men who will lead them, boys who are looking for men who will mentor them, and other men searching for strong men who will guide them—I have one request for you: pray for us. Don’t pray that we’ll come into your lives, because odds are we’re already there. Pray that we’ll stand out in your lives. Pray that we’ll overcome our fear of ourselves. Because when we overcome that fear, we’ll finally step up. We’ll become the leaders you want us to be.

    Because I, for one, want to dream big again.

    But this time, I want my dreams to come true.

    Category Friends, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: | 4 Comments

  6. It’s all worth it. . .

    March 12, 2009 by Nate

    In anticipation of the upcoming Prison Break series at church starting this weekend, I’ve decided to go through Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi.

    I’ve often marveled at the joy Paul expresses through one of the most difficult times of his life. He’s in prison, chained up, and waiting to be executed, yet still he writes, “Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! . . . . Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice!”

    How is it that Paul can write such powerfully uplifting words in those circumstances? What was driving him to live life this way?

    Lately I’ve been feeling God calling me toward ministry. A number of times over the past several months I’d begun pursuing that call in different forms: taking steps toward a full-time ministry position at my home church, putting together my application to seminary, applying at various full-time ministry positions around the country.

    But every time I find an open door, it closes before I reach it.

    And I find myself asking God, “Is it even worth it?”

    No, it’s not. Not if my pursuit is after the things of God rather than God himself.

    I’ll admit it’s not easy when he puts a desire in your heart but tells you to wait before you can obtain that dream. It’s even more difficult when you know your dream is something that he would be proud of.

    But the reality is no matter how noble or God-pleasing my dream may be, attaining it will never bring me joy.

    And while my disappointments and difficulties pale in comparison to Paul’s sufferings, I get discouraged, I complain, and I grow frustrated with my circumstances.

    And I have to ask myself, “Why can’t I celebrate like Paul did if my life is circumstantially much better than his?”

    Paul discovered why it’s all worth it. He discovered how to rejoice in every circumstance. He discovered where true joy can transcend his situations. Because his celebration was based on something other than his circumstances.

    The answer sounds cliché (especially if you grew up in Sunday School hearing this kind of cheese being sung), but it truly makes all the difference.

    Jesus.

    Because he is the sustenance for the entire universe. Because his life is the center of all of history. Because his death is love defined. Because his resurrection is the beginning of new life for humanity.

    Because this kind of love is what we were designed for.

    There is no reason to live. There is nothing to live for.

    Because it’s not worth it to live for anything.

    Except Jesus.

    I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

    Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

    ~Philippians 3.8-14

    Category Church, Personal, Scripture Musings, Spirituality | Tags: | 1 Comment

  7. The serving chart. . .

    March 11, 2009 by Nate

    This chart was too good to leave alone. I want to thank Prodigal John and Stuff Christians Like for the awesome concept.

    Category Christianity, Church, Personal | Tags: | No Comments

  8. Maybe not at Liquid?. . .

    March 3, 2009 by Nate

    I sometimes think about what God may have for my future. And these past few days have really heightened the frequency of these thoughts. The question that often races through my mind is “What if. . .?” An email I received yesterday pushed “What if?” into a new direction.

    What if God moves me away from Liquid?

    What if His mission for me takes me away from the body of believers I’ve grown to love and cherish more than any group I’ve been associated with?

    Honestly, the thought scares me. I ordinarily shove that thought into the back of my mind and continue doing what I’m doing. But lately the thought has been sitting in my head, unwilling to move or pass on.

    Liquid is my home. My spiritual safehouse. The church welcomed me while I was in my most broken state. They were the instrument God used to heal my emotional and spiritual wounds and to get me started on a journey of faith I never dreamed possible.

    I seriously do not want to leave. But maybe I have to. Maybe I’ve grown too comfortable here. Maybe my gifts are better used elsewhere. Maybe God is preparing a place for me to serve in a greater capacity.

    Then again, maybe God is making me realize that it’s not about Liquid or the people there. It’s about Him. Maybe Liquid Church is my final destination, and this part of my journey is designed to show me that His Kingdom is moving quickly and powerfully in other venues as well.

    But wherever He puts me, His love and presence are already there.

    This month at Liquid Kids I get to teach the children about Hope. Hope is more than just a dream, a wish, or a desire. It’s a belief that at the heart of the darkest circumstance, God is working for our good. Or, for the sake of the kids’ collective minds, “Hope is believing that something good can come out of something bad.”

    Separating from the people you love most is a heart-wrenching experience. But “goodbye” to one thing is always “hello” to something else.

    So now I’m mentally and emotionally preparing myself to say goodbye. My desire is that I don’t have to, but if I do, I can have hope that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (emphasis added).

    Category Church, Direction, Personal, Prayer | Tags: | 2 Comments

  9. Nostalgia. . .

    February 27, 2009 by Nate

    I’m currently reading through the book of the Acts of the Apostles for my quiet time. It’s been such an enlightening experience looking through the eyes of the early followers of the Way and peeking into their experiences as the Church first entered the world. It must have been an exciting time.

    But as the church scattered abroad, I can’t help but wonder if the Apostles ever thought, “I wish things were the way they used to be.” I mean, the church was pretty successful for a while remaining in Jerusalem. But Christ had told them to go around the world. And around the world they went.

    Churches sprang up everywhere. Starting in Jerusalem, then Antioch, then Corinth, Rome, Philippi, Ephesus. . . the new movement spread like wildfire. How many times do you see phrases like, “and about three thousand were added to their number that day,” or “and a great number of people were brought to the Lord”? Over and over again we see the church surging in the number of people reached.

    “Remember when we were all in Jerusalem? Man, those were the good ol’ days! When we were healing people in the big city, sharing all we had, giving speeches in all sorts of languages. I never even studied Italian, and there I was, speaking it!”

    As I read through passages where major changes were taking place in the early Church, I began to feel nostalgic. I began to miss the days just a few short chapters ago when all the believers assembled in Solomon’s Colonnade.

    Just a few months ago, Liquid Church was a group of believers meeting in one place. Early on a Sunday morning, I could walk up the Hyatt stairs and brush past Mike. We’d walk together up to the top of the stairs and chat with Lauren and Tom. The stage would be shared by both David’s moving vocals and Jens’ intense shreds. Bobby and I would lead the same group of kids in learning and worship.

    But so much has changed since then. David and Jens no longer share the stage. Mike and Tom no longer greet people on the same set of stairs. Bobby and I no longer share the lesson for children.

    Watching Mike introduce the service in Morristown brought me back to those days. The days when “all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade.”

    And I found myself thinking, Remember when we were all in Morristown? Remember when we gave away gasoline and car washes? Remember when we raised money to build wells in Africa? Man, those were the good ol’ days!

    But I’m wrong. No, these are the “good ol’ days.” The moments we’re in right now are the ones to treasure and make the most of. It’s nice to remember, but without those difficult changes, Liquid would have half the impact that it has now. And the Kingdom of God is moving through New Jersey twice as fast as it would if we were all still meeting in Morristown.

    After the church spread out beyond the borders of Jerusalem, these words were written: “The word of the Lord spread through the whole region.”

    See how far we’ve come?

    Category Christianity, Church, Friends, Personal, Scripture Musings | Tags: | No Comments

  10. Just for fun. . .

    February 25, 2009 by Nate

    I think it’s time I add a little fun to my blog. Here’s a little personal info about me.

    I’m a HUGE comic book fan. While I love characters like X-Men, Spider-Man, and Captain America, I’m more of a DC Comics fanboy. Give me a Justice League story any day, and I’m a happy reader.

    DC Comics, while famous for characters like Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, is a reputable publishing company because of a book titled Watchmen.

    Watchmen is arguably the greatest graphic novel ever written. It made Time Magazine’s “All-Time 100 Novels” list and is the only graphic novel to win the prestigious Hugo Award. The story was written by Alan Moore, who also wrote such critically acclaimed graphic novels as From Hell, V for Vendetta, and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. He’s also written a handful of high profile graphic novels including Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? (a Superman series annual) and Batman: The Killing Joke. The latter is widely accepted as one of the finest Batman stories ever written, bested only by Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One, both by Neo Noir writer Frank Miller (creator of the Sin City and 300 comics).

    The 2009 film based on Watchmen is being directed by Zack Snyder, the visionary director behind the films Dawn of the Dead and 300, and produced by Lawrence Gordon (Die Hard), Lloyd Levin (United 93), and Deborah Snyder (300). It stars Malin Akerman as Laurie Juspeczyk, aka Silk Spectre II; Billy Crudup as Jon Osterman, aka Dr. Manhattan; Matthew Goode as Adrian Veidt; aka Ozymandias; Jackie Earle Haley as Walter Kovacs, aka Rorschach; Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Edward Blake, aka the Comedian; and Patrick Wilson as Dan Dreiberg, aka Nite Owl II.

    So, check it out for yourself. I can’t wait!

    Category Personal | Tags: | No Comments

Older Entries
Newer Entries