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  1. Everything I need. . .

    April 26, 2010 by Nate

    With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
    With my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
    I pour out my complaint before him;
    I tell my trouble before him.
    When my spirit faints within me,
    you know my way!
    In the path where I walk
    they have hidden a trap for me.
    Look to the right and see:
    There is none who takes notice of me;
    no refuge remains to me;
    no one cares for my soul.
    I cry to you, O Lord;
    I say, “You are my refuge,
    my portion in the land of the living.”

    The last few days haven’t been easy. And it becomes so difficult to trust God when it feels like he’s taking things away from me. To be totally honest, I’m actually angry at him right now. I almost feel like he’s given me glimpses of the great things he has planned for me, only to rip them away with the words, “You’re not ready for this yet, Nate.”

    He gave me something to pour my abilities and efforts into, and then I hear, “I can’t let you do that, Nate. Not when you’ve lost sight of whom this is really about.” And it hurt, but I knew I needed to make some changes in my own life.

    And just as I’m on the brink of taking that first step towards change, a gift he’d given me very recently was quickly snatched away, and I hear, “You’re not ready for this gift, Nate. This was my gift to you, but you’re not a gift yourself.” And again, it hurt.

    Like any child who’s being corrected by his father, I’m angry because the correcting hurts. But, like that child, I know that I have nowhere else to turn, and that the hand that’s correcting me is the same hand that comforts me.

    So I’ll run into the refuge of my Father’s arms, knowing that, even though I can’t have what I want right now, he’s providing me what I need.

    My old mentor told me recently to stop “seeking change for yourself and start seeking the God who changes.” Because change may be everything I want in my life right now, but this God is everything I need.

    Category Personal, Scripture Musings | Tags: | No Comments

  2. A quick thought. . .

    April 13, 2010 by Nate

    I’ve been reading through the Gospels again recently, and I can’t shake the feeling that I was missing something in Christ’s words. Something crucial about this “kingdom of heaven” he referred to over and over again. I’ll post more on this at a later time, but I just wanted to get you thinking about this as well. Try reading through some of Jesus’ words and rethinking what you’ve previously been taught about the kingdom he talks about.

    Category Christianity, Personal | Tags: | No Comments

  3. The Sixty Six. . .

    April 12, 2010 by Nate

    Coming soon. . . a church middle-school curriculum series written by yours truly.

    Have you checked out your Sixty Six lately?

    Category Announcement, Church | Tags: | No Comments

  4. Christ-centered. . .

    March 30, 2010 by Nate

    There’s always a story.

    Life is made up of stories. And every story we have is a part of a bigger story within our own lives, and the lives of those around us, and the lives of everyone we’ve ever come in contact, and ultimately everyone on earth.

    It’s all a story.

    And often, we can’t figure out what part of the story we’re in. John Eldredge put it this way: “For most of us, life feels like a movie we’ve arrived at forty-five minutes late” (Epic).

    I’ve felt this confusion time and time again. But what helps me is knowing that my story fits in somewhere as part of a larger story, and that the story has already been written. Well, the important parts, that is.

    But I can’t shake the feeling that we’ve been looking at this story the wrong way for generations. And I think that’s where the confusion comes in.

    We’ve been searching for meaning in our lives, but we haven’t discovered that meaning comes when we find out that our lives aren’t a puzzle. Rather, they’re puzzle pieces. And they all fit together to create a picture that, at its heart, centers around Jesus.

    But I really think people—no, Christians—have gotten it wrong.

    To find meaning for life, we have to center life around Christ. But to truly center our lives around him, we first have to discover who he is.

    Look at his life. What made him happy? What made him angry? Whom did he cherish? Whom did he criticize?

    Can you relate what went on during his life to what’s going on in your life?

    What makes you happy? What makes you angry? Whom do you cherish? Whom do you criticize?

    No, this isn’t a rehash of WWJD?. It’s much deeper than that. It’s a challenge to rediscover.

    Rediscover what life looks like through Jesus’ eyes. Rediscover what people look like through Jesus’ eyes. Rediscover what you look like through Jesus’ eyes.

    Can you find meaning in that? He found meaning in you. Enough meaning to die.

    Category Christianity, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

  5. The Top Ten!

    March 28, 2010 by Nate

    Here are my top ten blog posts! I didn’t choose these entries; they were chosen because they received the most traffic since I started the site (the stats might be a little skewed because the blog moved from restoredtograce.wordpress.com about a year and a half ago.) Also, I didn’t include the entry “Free book giveaway. . .” because we all know why that post received a lot of traffic. Technically though, it was number 5.

    Anyway, here’s the list (not including the aforementioned post). . .

    1. To my future bride (whoever you may be). . .

    2. A day at Liquid Church. . .

    3. God, the Lover. . .

    4. What does true love look like?. . .

    5. Through new eyes. . .

    6. Communications and children’s ministries. . .

    7. Fear in love. . .

    8. Break my heart. . .

    9. The fury of God’s grief. . .

    10. Shorts and flip flops at church. . .

    Category Announcement, Personal | Tags: | No Comments

  6. Always. . .

    March 21, 2010 by Nate

    It hurts sometimes.

    Actually, no. It hurts all the time.

    Do you ever feel alone? Like there isn’t a single person who’ll listen to you? Like all your friends are there simply as a courtesy, but when your heart is crying out to them for a hug or an ear to listen to your fears or pain, they suddenly disappear or tune out?

    I do.

    Everyday.

    Some nights I set it aside and numb the pain by escaping into a book or watching a movie or playing video games.

    Not tonight though.

    Tonight I’m screaming. Tonight I’m calling. Tonight I’m crying for that friend who’ll wrap their arms around me and let me pour everything I’m hiding onto their shoulders.

    And tonight, like every other night I feel alone and abandoned. . .

    He answers.

    He listens intently when I unload the hurt that’s eating at my soul. He sits beside me when I feel like no one else will.

    He rests his hand on my shoulder and says, “I won’t leave you.”

    “Is that a promise?” I ask him (night after night).

    “I told you, I’m always with you.”

    He says the same thing every time. No matter what I say or do.

    He’s always there.

    I rarely follow his advice (even though I try so hard to). I often forget to do what he asks me to. I don’t communicate well with him, and when I do, I’m almost always asking him to do something and never listening to what he has to say.

    Some friend I am.

    But he’s always there. He’s always listening. He’s always holding me.

    He destroyed death for me. . .

    By dying himself.

    And here I am crying out for a friend when this one is already here beside me.

    Category Personal | Tags: | No Comments

  7. A walk around the Hyatt. . .

    March 15, 2010 by Nate

    Sundays at the Hyatt in Morristown, NJ, are always busy and hectic days. At 4:30am a team of roadies begins loading in the equipment that later becomes the stage for three church services in one of the main ballrooms. At 7:00am another team of roadies starts converting the hotel conference rooms into children’s playrooms and classrooms. Simultaneously, a rock band shows up to rehearse their set for the three church services that day. Around 8:00am service administrators and team leaders start showing up to get ready for the first service. They put files together, set up registration desks, and prepare their teams for the coming services. At 8:30am, volunteer teams arrive to do their jobs. Some of them are teachers. Others are sound technicians. Some are mentors. Others are videographers.

    And at 9:00am every Sunday, the first service at Liquid Church begins.

    But somewhere in the middle of all this seemingly frenetic activity, real life change is taking place.

    During the longer break between services I was wandering around the Hyatt peeking in on some of the volunteers who were finally getting their first break of the day. Some of the band members were napping behind the stage. A roadie was lying on some chairs in the back of the main ballroom. A few mentors were enjoying some snacks by the hotel bar.

    I stopped at a small group of high schoolers sitting in a circle of chairs in the hotel lobby. They all had matching notebooks out and looked like they were having a good time; the sight intrigued me, so I decided to have a look. One of them showed me a chart from their notebooks. Across the top in bold letters was the phrase “Systematic Theology.” This revelation to me couldn’t have come at a better time. It reinforced in my mind that there’s a generation coming after mine that is doing everything possible to get to know God better.

    I almost cried when I saw it.

    Because sometimes it’s easy, especially at a church like mine, to get caught up in a Christianity that gives you that immediate spiritual high. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Hearing a song set that moves you from dancing in the aisles celebrating our freedom in Christ to raising our arms in complete surrender to his love to breaking down in tears of humility knowing we have nothing apart from him—that’s a fantastic place to be. Sitting under powerful teaching that points your heart and mind to the intensity of Christ’s love and grace—it’s phenomenal to get that.

    Seeing the looks on people’s faces when you’re giving them free coats with no strings attached—it’s no wonder Christ told us that giving is more blessed than receiving.

    And I see it in our high schoolers when they open their Bibles and really search for who Christ is. I see it in our middles schoolers when they’re riveted to our youth pastor as he unveils to them a Jesus that doesn’t their their preconceived notions of who Jesus is.

    They want to know God.

    And when the middle and high schoolers get excited about knowing God, the ripple effects of their excitement spread to all other parts of the Church. A church filled with kids who want more of Jesus is an insanely powerful church. The strength of Liquid Church isn’t going to be measured by how loud the music is or how eloquently Pastor Tim speaks. It won’t be measured by how many new volunteers start serving each week or how many first-time guests show up.

    No, the strength of Liquid Church will be measured by how many kids in our Student Ministries program discover who Jesus is and study the Bible to encounter him.

    Category Church, Spirituality | Tags: | 1 Comment

  8. What happened last night (pt. 2). . .

    March 11, 2010 by Nate

    After our Life Group meeting a handful of us went to a tavern nearby to spend some time in fellowship. While we were sitting/standing by the bar, I noticed something about our group—our unity in Jesus is so powerful that it holds us together and creates an oddly diverse group. And our diversity is attractive.

    A group of people nearby noticed us and started chatting with us. We told them that we’re part of a church, and the natural skepticism ensued, followed by a bit of curiosity. As we chatted more I found that these people actually admired us. I’m pretty sure we’re different from most Christians they’ve come across.

    Christ said that the world would know that we are his followers because of our love. For a while I’d thought of it this way: our love is so pervasive that people take notice of it. But I think that it’s actually deeper than that. Sure, our love is pervasive and overwhelming, but there’s something else going on.

    Jesus distinctly said that it would be our love for each other that would distinguish us from the world.

    Let me put it into perspective. One of the guys who was chatting with us noticed a girl in our group. He asked me if I’d planned on hitting that (and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t joking, but he was genuinely curious based on some other stuff I’d said earlier in our conversation). I said simply that I loved her too much to do that. And he was a bit confused.

    See, the world defines love in these terms: “I love her so much that I should have sex with her.” But a Christian packs a whole lot more into the concept of love that it actually sounds like this: “I love her too much to have sex with her.” Because to a Christian, the “her” in question is a sister. A sister that should be loved, cherished, respected, and protected.

    Of course, that earns us labels like “prude” and “anti-sex.” It’s unfortunate because sex is what I believe to be the most powerful manifestation of the image of God in humanity. So why is the Church considered anti-sex?

    It’s tragic that the Church has given sex over to society. We’ve shirked our responsibility to show the beauty of God’s relationship with humanity through sex and decided to not talk about it.

    Someone had to pick up the slack. Turns out it’s the culture.

    So here’s my question: are we going to do anything about it? Or are we going to let society control sex? Let’s go, Church! We’ve got an opportunity here. . . let’s not waste anymore time.

    Category Christianity, Friends, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

  9. What happened last night (pt. 1). . .

    March 11, 2010 by Nate

    I’m not sure how to describe what took place last night. I was struck by the unity of spirit and heart in my Life Group.

    In John 17 Christ spends time praying for his followers. The conversation he has here are the last recorded words he exchanges with the Father before he is sentenced to death.

    He knows its the last time he’ll get to be alone with his Father while on earth.

    And what does he ask for? He asks for unity among his followers.

    And look at what we’ve done to answer his prayer. Baptist, Christian Missionary Alliance, Pentecostal, Catholic, Episcopalian, Reformed, Presbyterian, Evangelical-Free, Anglican, Methodist, Apostolic, Lutheran, Fundamentalist, Charismatic, Brethren. . . . Do you see where I’m going?

    So last night at Life Group we talked about Catholicism. Interesting topic given the fact that our group is overwhelmingly Protestant. But the ability to discuss our differences without bashing each other’s beliefs was so refreshing.

    I’m fairly certain that one of Satan’s primary goals is to disrupt unity among Christ-followers. I’m not saying that Martin Luther was wrong for inciting division in the Catholic Church. There was an obvious need for change, and he pointed out many practices that were poisoning the minds of Christ-followers.

    But as the Protestant movement became a powerful tool for the Kingdom, Satan seized the opportunity to attack it. And his attack came in the form of division.

    Christ prayed for unity, and Satan is battling that as much as he can.

    But last night, divisiveness was defeated. In one room, Catholic, CMA, E-Free, Reformed (and whoever else was sitting in that circle) came together and declared that our God and Saviour is Jesus, and that life is about nothing more or less than knowing and loving him.

    Category Christianity, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

  10. Missional (pt. 2). . .

    March 2, 2010 by Nate

    It had been almost a year since I last connected with this friend. We met tonight at the Barnes & Noble on Rte. 10 in Morris Plains. I decided to go early so that I could do some book browsing before she arrived.

    I found a book about the Apostle Paul and flipped through it a little. As I did, I began to daydream a little. What would it have been like to travel with him? Was he a somber guy, or did he have a clever sense of humor?

    And what would it be like to walk alongside someone who understood that deeply what it meant to live a missional lifestyle, who understood the synergy created when cross, culture, and community meet within a life?

    As I was making my way from the Religion section to the Science Fiction section, I heard my name called. It was my friend.

    After barely a minute of small talk, our conversation dove right into ministry. As we shared our hearts, passions, and discoveries with each other, I couldn’t help but sense that she too was experiencing the same “dip” that I am now crawling out of.

    And it’s tough.

    It’s tough when God has given you a gift and placed on you a calling, and circumstances push you away from where you feel called. And it’s tough when you look within and find that your own sin, guilt, and depression are pulling you away from taking any step towards what God has called you to.

    And it’s tough when that call is ministry, and you know that your ability to serve is almost completely shot.

    But, like my friend said tonight, finding yourself drawn to ministry, regardless of how often you’re tossed around and pulled away from it, means that you’re meant for it. When you long for the trenches, for the spiritual battle over the souls of people who surround you. When your mind isn’t satisfied until you’ve filled it with God’s word. When your arms itch to embrace the hurting and broken soul. When your lips purse at the thought of sharing with others everything God has taught you. When your ears perk up at the cries of the youth who is lost, frightened, and alone.

    You were meant to be in the trenches.

    As I sipped my tea, my friend looked straight into my eyes and asked me, “How is your relationship with God?”

    She was meant to be in the trenches.

    She drove right to that question. Everything else in our conversation had flowed organically, but this question didn’t. No, it was purposed. Directed. Intentional.

    It was as if that was the only thing she wanted to ask me. As if the night would be incomplete if she didn’t help wake me up to the realization that I was headed down the same path the led me into this dark valley I’ve been in.

    She knew what was important and how to get at it.

    And she opened my heart to a truth I only recently began to notice.

    I’ve not been connecting with my Daddy.

    And crucial to living a missional lifestyle is maintaining an unbroken, open connection with God.

    Because without that connection, we can’t be like Jesus.

    And being missional is being like Jesus,

    (who was more human than anyone else)

    which makes us more human than we were before,

    so that we can better connect to the broken and hurting humans who would never listen to us unless we fully realize our own humanity.

    Category Christianity, Direction, Friends, Spirituality | Tags: | No Comments

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